By Bo Jack Russo Dec. 23, 2009
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Smoking crack help lessen your worries.
Smoking crack has become social taboo and perceived as generally overall bad, this is unfortunate because smoking crack has health benefits previously undiscovered and provides countless ways to save money. So the following list will begin to help enlighten the masses. So run out and get yourself a crack pipe, find the grungy looking guy on the corner and buy some crack,but first kick back and read this article and be surprised, stunned and amazed at what you have been missing out on.
1) Crack helps you lose weight. When you get high on crack, you don’t eat, and the synapses and neurons in your brain fire faster and your heart beat increases, so you move around more, perspire more and with no calorie intake, metabolic rate increases and you spend less money on food.
2) When you smoke crack, your teeth fall out, this saves time and money, a win win. When your teeth are gone, you don’t need to buy toothpaste or toothbrushes, and you also save on dental care because you don’t need it anymore.
3) When you smoke enough crack, you forget to buy food for your children, saving even further on the food bill.
4) Lets say you continue to smoke crack, the welfare people take the kids away and you go to jail. No more clothes to buy for the children, and you already quit buying them for yourself plus you get room and board, free warm meals, and you can watch TV and read.
5) Next you lose your job. this is a big step because you no longer have to get up to stagger into work or call in sick, which enlightens us to another money saving option… when the phone is shut off, that’s even more money in your pocket for even more crack. Woo hoo!
6) Next is the gas and electricity, by this time you’ve learned that blankets and candles work just fine, and you don’t pay gas to go to work, even more money saved and by now, you have lost a great deal of weight and are feeling in top physical condition.
7) Even more opportunities for saving and even making money, now, you see a new money making opportunity, you pawn the car, no need to buy gas or insurance, and a little money in your pocket. Yippee.
Let’s review, you’ve lost your self esteem, your children, your job, your phone, your car and little by little more and more stuff, been a great ride so far right? OK fast forward to today.
8) You now learn how to steal. This is simply amazing because you don’t have to pay for anything anymore at all, you trade these things for more dopee and cash, thing are going really well and you are an optimist. another plus is that you are climbing in and out of dumpsters, thus getting stronger and those skeletal bones display your finely toned body.
9) You go back to jail, more free food, bed and TV, like a hotel, living like a king, you get free clothes and a shower once a week or so.
10) You lost the house when you were in jail, one less responsibility. You are free as a bird. You go to the park, watch the kids play, listen to the birds sing, you remember taking your kids here and playing. One by one all the laughing stops and each family goes home. It grows dark, then it gets cold. You want to go home but you can’t. Now it hits you, the downward spiral that occurred has hit you smack in the face. So you seek out your dealer for one last fix. You overdose and die, game over. Now you don’t need to spend any money at all.
The moral of the story is… Don’t smoke crack.
My work is done here, Bo out
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